Saturday, July 11, 2009

The ultimate end of Guy

It's 12:22 in the middle of the night and I'm sitting here after finally ending things with Guy after 2 years, 3 months and 12 days of trying hard to understand him and be there for him however long our long-distance relationship was.

It's with an ache in my heart that I think of the many nights I spent half of my bank account on calls on this man who captured my heart and made me love him so desparately that it all ended like a flash in the pan.

He knows all my secrets. There's nothing I've hidden from him. Half of me feels the insecurity creeping into the vulnerable pockets of the cloak I now call life. What do you do when you've trusted a man so completely that you've never prepared yourself for this end?

But the end has come. And it hurts.

Where do I even start to look for comfort when my heart grieves for him? What do I do when my hand reaches out to the phone and then realizes it cannot type those texts to the companion of my life?

How does one get over the ache in the pit of one's chest that tightens when it realizes that things will never be the same again?

I miss him. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I do.

Where do I go from here?

15 comments:

  1. I am sorry to hear this JC a lot of my friends and cousins are also going through break ups these days and I can imagine how u r feeling right now.. it's not easy to let go after being together for such a long time

    But I guess you made the right decision it
    takes time to realize if the person u are with is the right person or not you only know it when you get to know the person better..

    You will find the right Man in your life JC till then keep yourself occupied and don't let the thoughts of him disturb you...

    Be positive he might be a lot closer than you actually think :)

    Hugs and Cheers and Keep on Smiling =D

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