Authoritarian Bow

Bow has been a great friend in times of crisis, often unfolding his arms to catch me whenever I've taken the big fall. The manner in which he staunchly defends me has touched my heart many a time and there's been one particular period in my life when he has cared and stood with me till the fragments of my heart were picked up and pieced back together as delicately as only he could have done.

Some of you confirmed that Bow seemed to be in love with me on a previous post and I hastened to add that my own feelings dictated so too. I however, have absolutely no feelings for him and he happens to be at the bottom of my list of "favoured beaus" even though he tops it when it comes to being a wonderful friend.

But something about him irked me today and that was his authoratative take on how I should live my life and treat another guy who happened to be my bossom buddy. The manner in which he dissed him and immediately suggested that he was not the best of people just because he's been through the worst of times, made me feel a distase in my mouth for Bow - something which caused a great deal of personal concern in my heart because I couldn't believe that I was feeling that way about Bow who considers me his closest friend.

This was when I realized that one of the keys to real friendship is allowing your friend to blossom and have his or her space without infringing on it or attempting to thwart it with your own opinion. There has to be give and take and being a friend does not give you the right to dictate or hold the reigns to your friend's heart.

I also realized that one of the qualities I most hate about a person is "dictatorship". I am a free spirit and I detest those types of personalities that assume authority over me.

What do you when you have an authoritarian friend? As you may know, it's not something that can be discussed with him as it would be awkward to fight over it. But what can be the rationale for his behaviour and how do I get over this strong dislike for his ways?

On a different note, I haven't been having the best of weeks. Just when I thought I was over the hurdle of addiction I went back to it. I guess it's a struggle and a long wait before I know that I'm completely over my demons. I completely lost it and went back to the things that I have been staying away from so successfully.

Please tell me. With regards to this post, where do I go from here? Have you ever successfully broken a habit or torn yourself away from an addiction? Because I'm certainly in need of help. And I don't know how to help myself because I seem to be doing a very poor job of it : (