My heart aches for his love and my soul is saturated with bliss everytime I hear from him. He lives a million miles away from me and I live a million away from him too.
He's been away for close to three and a half years now but the love I feel for him is still growing strong. We had the big "talk" and we decided that we'd be friends since both of us weren't going to see the light of the other for a couple of years. But we're still very much in love.
Everytime I think of a girl he's good mates with, it makes me burn up with jealousy and everytime I share my encounter with a member of the opposite sex, it makes him retreat into a mood that's got "sulking" written all over it. He's in love with my body, my mind and my heart. I'm in love with his love - for me.
Yet we're eachother's closest friends. We're eachother's soul mates. He can't go to sleep without confessing that he had a random sexual encounter with a girl that went horribly wrong, without my being the one to console him after admitting to my share of jealousy. He never misunderstands it, because it's exactly the same feeling that he has for me.
But we are friends. We have no right to be jealous of eachother's relationship woes we are - but friends. We can never be together. We've explored all options and avenues and reached the conclusion that we can survive but on texts and calls to eachother on a weekend.
He is committed and legally bound to live overseas, I am committed to living in the land that I was born in.
3 years have passed.
Still I remain, in love with guy.
Glendalough Green [IMG_3046] by Kesara Rathnayake Via...
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Glendalough Green [IMG_3046] by Kesara Rathnayake Via Flickr: Gleann Dá
Loch, Contae Chill Mhantáin, Éire. Glendalough, County Wicklow, Ireland
4 hours ago
3 years of pain :(
ReplyDeleteBygones are bygones. Move on babe. Life is too precious to be wasting on a stupido :P
ReplyDeletereal life love story is never like in movies or books where u can wait for years for it to bloom. hate to break ur bubble, but sometimes its the bitter truth.. but hey like i wud know the future?!?!?
ReplyDeleteOn ur request abt ur blog design - it could use a refurbishment. Add more color / a more stand out banner or change the overall layout and theme. I know blogger has limited themes. Im sure we can work around tht. If you need anythin let me know...
Lo$t $oul
Yes Kusal... you understand..
ReplyDeleteHe's a very special guy Rehani :( our bond too great to label him as a jerk. But I get what you're saying..
I know lost soul.. we're not waiting for our love to blossom. It already has.. it's just the fruits that get ripe that we will never get to eat and I guess that's what hurt.
This is in reponse to a comment by u I read elsewhere about u wanting to improve ur blogs look :)
ReplyDeleteI recall reading sometime ago that it was supposed to resemble "something that looked as if it was shat out by Satan's dog" but am dissapointed that it does not look like that! Did u change it since then?
I agree that the current header graphic looks like something that only a very depraved mind can appreciate, but I guess thats what attracted me to it.. Seriously! There is a very crude simplicity to it (to put it another way, it looks simply crude) but may fit this blog, as this is the way u want to present it to readers & NOT something that some other person came up with.
I can't wait for the new one, and as long as u pick it urself, I'll definitely keep comin back for more
I'm serious.. Even ur writing has a melodramatic appeal to it, but I bet people keep coming back to check whether there are any 'good' parts that u've come up with
If there is a crude simplicity to it, I'd like to keep it :)
ReplyDeleteIs that okay? :)
I decided to keep this because this is ME... :)
Thanks "girigoris the one" for your feedback, and yes it was padashow who commented that is looked like something shat out of Satan's dog :D - that was when the background was black and the text white. I've changed it since then.... :)
Thank you for saying my writing has a melodramatic appeal to it.. I take that as a compliment? :)
hey just chillin'... just wanted to say *hugs* for he did cheat on you and you still forgave him and never let go of your love for him... maybe there's a slim chance that you'd join him in that country too? atleast for the short term, to try to give the relationship another chance? :)
ReplyDeletethank you SO much chavie... hug meant a lot to me.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult for me to join him over there
:( I've explored all avenues in my mind.. and much as he likes to come down, he's got his PR there.
Also.. it would be worse to have a short-term stint there only to leave him and come back...
So we've settled to be friends..
BUt thank you Chavie :(
U should consider havin a blog template archive or whatever, so peeps like me who missed the old ones can enjoy them too :)
ReplyDeleteMy compliments will be the fact that I'll be back for more doses of ur 'retarded ramblings' ;)
"retarded" ramblings? :) lol!! Thanks Girigoris :D
ReplyDeleteSometimes things aren't meant to be... It's just one of those realities in life... but remember, the fact that you found it in your heart to forgive and love him just means that you're a wonderful human being, and that whoever you end up getting together with will be a very very lucky man! :)
ReplyDeleteand glad to be of some help Chillin... :)