Second Chances

Over the weekend I got to see a new side to myself. A side that wants to recompense for all the wrongs she has done. A calm and collected side to me that allowed all the hustle and bustle, the scurry and hurry of life rush past me while I stood for a moment and just absorbed the slow ticking of the hands of the clock..

But just when I was fitting comfortably into the snugness of self-actualization, something happened to burst the bubble of happiness. A bad deed that I had committed ages ago returned on my doorstep to haunt me, accompanied by packages of guilt and remorse. There to collect it were two of my best buddies. One a real darling, the other an "in and out" kind of friend. It didn't take too long for me to find myself knee deep in mud, trying desperately to come out.

To some extent, I have managed to wade through this trial with my face unscathed. But there's yet the possibility that I can find myself in deeper shit if a certain aspect of my past deeds is brought out. Things as they stand, resemble the makings of a time bomb. And I can only sit and wait indefinitely, hoping that the explosion never takes place.

It's funny how I was dealt out my punishment just when I had turned a new leaf in my book and made ammends with my past. I have no right to question life or querry into the advent of my chastisement because I have done wrong. But all I can do is hope and pray that Someone up there sees my heart and doesn't allow the exposure that can break the very heart thath beats to keep me going.

A second chance. That's all I ask for. As I sit and wait nervously with a genuinely repentant heart.

The past has a way of catching up on you. No deed you commit is ever done in secret. It will always be revealed isn't it?