Chastity and commitment

I don’t believe virginity,
Is as common as it used to be.

- Don Williams

Sex is a strange thing. It makes people get closer to each other in the most intimate of ways and it also has the power to drive people apart.

I’ve come to know real life stories of how sex has been reduced to an activity between two people who are habitually striving to keep their relationships together, as a quest to establish their rights as each other’s companion. On the other broader side of the spectrum, the phenomenon of “fuck buddy” has found its way into the hitherto conservative fabrics of society in Colombo and even social networks like “Facebook” and “Hi5” have the option of “open relationship” as a filler in their relationships status box.

Sex is no longer the sacred, “one man to one woman” seal of a loving lifelong relationship as it was originally meant to be. What’s most interesting is that the common tide of promiscuity being less of a shocker amongst our people, has caused the concept of “21st century thinking” to sweep the sands of most people who look at the generations before them with a squinted eye which sees nothing but “old fashioned backwardness”.

The liberal thinking of society today does not require the standards and norms of yesteryear which frowned upon any sexual relationship outside of the marriage bed, to be adhered to, anymore. Lifestyles have changed. Sex before marriage requires any girl or guy to make love to their serious, “steady” partner and the responsibility of keeping that affair in tact being (thankfully) not a must-do at any stage, naturally leads to a break up. The next commitment made would lead to sex between the two parties once again and thus is established this routine of making love with as many people as you would have gone out with.

Most of us are by no means saints, nor should we ever mean to sound preachy, but could it not be this pattern of making love with the person you’re in a commitment with and thereafter making love to the next person you’re in a relationship with etc. etc, thatis responsible for the ultimate break up of a marriage where making love to more than one person in your lifetime has already been tread on and is thus easier on the human mind and body? After marriage, how does one suddenly become faithful and stick it out sexually, with just one partner for the rest of his or her life?

Perhaps the way in which we live our sexual lives before we get into the institution of marriage then, is a deciding factor (to some extent).

Virginity they say is rare. I've come to realize that good old fashioned morals have slipped off into yesteryear. That is not to say that those who have had sex should be judgmentally chastised, but I am slowly but steadily beginning to realize that there would have been a very good reason for God to have intended there to be one man for one woman, and fornication a no-no, the very definition of fornication being “voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried person or two persons not married to each other”