Letter from a Teen (fiction)

Dear Harry,

Pornography disgusts me.

Every time I as much as think of a porn scene in my mind, I feel helplessly ill in my stomach. The very bottomless pits of my stomach churn in distasteful disapproval and the feeling is awkwardly uncomfortable because it extends to my lips, causing a very poor, dull taste in my mouth.

Porn repels me and it wasn’t always that way.

There was a time in my life when porn really turned me on and arousal was one of the most exciting benefits of a quick sneak into a porno site.

Porn be it on the net, off a movie, or the pages flicked through a playboy magazine left carelessly lying around, always left me gratified with a “feels good to be alive” feel in my lower regions from as far as I can remember. It was one of those anticipated moments where I’d know that something good was in store, even momentarily, pleasure-wise.

But I just can’t seem to lay a finger on what exactly caused this sudden distaste and repulsion to set in and it’s been a good while now.

I can go through an entire porn video and feel absolutely nothing. I’m not turned on one bit. I see nothing more than two people aimlessly trying their level best to satisfy each other and it bores me out of my skin. The boredom causes my mind to wander. I start looking around at the furniture, the watch on the guy’s hand, the length of the heels that are upraised in the air, the scenery beyond that window in the corner, the way she has braided her hair, the biceps on the guy’s left hand or the visible tattoo on his right .. It’s endless, and it almost borders on the comic! But on a serious note, it’s quite an enigma to me.

Some say there is “good porn” and “bad porn” or porn with bad angling of camera shots/bad actors with poor chemistry, absolutely no connection and lots of fake moaning.

Good porn consists of serious lovemaking, home-video style, with live web cam-like records of good foreplay and sex up right up to the scenes of very sexy orgasms.

But you know what? Even that bores me and I’d rather get up and leave the room with a good book in my hand.

I’m not sure how sexually active you may be but I wish I knew why my libido seems to have taken a turn downhill. I’m way too young for all this to set in!

This little predicament of mine has left me wondering if something’s wrong somewhere.

Is this distaste for porn the result of over saturation of my senses?

I wish I had some answers but at this moment in time, I have none.

Pehaps it’s just a question my body and mind have to answer.

But right now, they both seem to be sitting still and unmoved.

Regards,
Tom